Unknown Armies Update Wiki

Bits of errata, half-baked ideas, cool concepts that might have happened but shouldn't be dignified with their own rulesets can go here. Basically anything you think of that you'd like to leave for a propsective GM to develop.

Please write in the style of the Rumors section of the UA rulebook- short bursts of information that are best read as though the speaker has a mouthful of cheap French fries from the Scotsman.

Street level[]

Wikipedia is sentient! Hit the random page option until you hit something long and boring, then listen carefully. You can hear it snore!

Ya know, there's a reason that The B.K. Lounge killed The King, and it ain't because they wanted a broader appeal. People just don't have a use for Kings anymore. Just look at them Middle Easterns, killing Kings left and right.

I'm serious man, you shouldn't be outside tomorrow night. Why? Because last year, and the year before that, when I went out on that very same night, the concrete on the corner of 34th Street went all squishy. When I stepped in it, I heard some wierd laughing below me. When I looked down, the concrete was solid again. Do you want to lose your shoes?

Someone killed the world's luck. My friend, who got laid off from this place that made parts for NASA, said that they put a lot of weird payloads on near the end of 2008/2009, hoping to draw down the moon's luck, but something went wrong. That's why, if you find a penny in the street, it's always gonna be tarnished.

There really is a war on Christmas, man. It's only due to the actions of certain mystically-tuned cable TV pundits that we even got December back.

You remember the government crackdown on flle-sharing websites? Sure, they TOLD us it was because of copyrighted material, but we all know it's because someone started posting real rituals there.

Microwaves don't actually PRODUCE microwaves, that's BS at its finest. You wanna know how they work? Well, each company uses something different to make their machine work, propriatary issues and the like. The Japanese ones, for example, are powered by the condemned souls of all the depressed Asian workers who take the express elevator to the concrete.

Global level[]

A cult based in Washington D.C. and New York known as Incompemancers helped cause the 2008 recession.

A Baltimore duke named Jack Richardson once got his hands on the Day Planner of the Gods, and wrote in a meeting with the Comte. No one knows what was said during that meeting, but no one’s heard from Richardson since, and some dukes have noticed minor charges disappearing when his name is brought up.

There’s a story that sometime in 2008, a minor duke in Wyoming figured out what the Naked Goddess ascended as, and he promptly Ascended himself. No one knows if this is the truth or just a jab at the still-clueless Cult of the Naked Goddess.

A pissed-off moneypit with a major charge sparked off Occupy Wall Street. If he has his way with the movement, people will literally eat the rich.

Dirk Allen finally got his new body, or died, no one knows for certain. Either way, he hasn't been heard from since late 2010. Might be just lying low, I suppose.

Long ago, the first created Abominable Unspeakable Servant killed its master and cut off its eye as a sign of defiance. No one's sure what it's been up to since then, or even if it's still "just" an Abominable Unspeakable Servant anymore. However, rumors on the internet about some... thing that's moved from its home in the Black Forest in Germany to the U.S. in order to torment college students may be a sign of it making its move. It's probably false, but if I were you, I'd be on the lookout for what looks like a tall, spindly guy in a black suit with no face. Oh, and keep a camera on you at all times if you think you're being targeted. It won't help you, but it'll provide information and entertainment for the rest of us.

Whadda ya mean "there isn't a magickal conspiracy in the music industry"? Ya want PROOF? Here, listen to this CD. EVERY song on it refers to something magickal. Andrew W.K.'s "Ready to Die" is about having mojo and waving it about. "Television" by Bad Religion? It's scary some of those lines matched up exactly with a diary I stole from a Vidiot. And then, "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid", you know, that song by The Offspring, if that ain't the theme song for every aspiring Bad Traffic'er and his mentor, I don't know what is. Though... I suppose it could go for ANY student/teacher pair... But, this shit goes far back too. The Kinks knew about those Dualism walkers somehow, just take a listen to "Lola" and you'll see what I mean. The question is, who's been leaking them information for 60-plus years?

I've seen people walking some really strange paths recently. Apparently, there's some chick who's been preparing herself to get murdered. She wrote up a script, picked the perfect spot, everything. Hell, I think she even got someone to stalk her. Dunno why anybody would want to get slashed, but then again, I see a lot of strange people. Don't even get me started on the girl who thought it would be a good idea to channel advertising's perception of women. I haven't seen her since she ran into that male Heartbreaker.

Cosmic level[]

The Godwalker of the Rebel is not a single entity, but the group Anonymous as a whole. The Guy Fawkes mask has come to symbolize rebellion, and anyone who dons one immediately draws the eye of the Rebel.

Forget that idiot right there. Godwalker? Don't be stupid. Anonymous is a hive mind, and they all have this skill, right? They can instantly know what others think and adjust themselves based on that will.

Ever read a comment on the Internet and just know it wasn't written by a human? They're called "chans", after notorious trolls 4chan, and some people claim they can use them to divine the present.

Six years ago, a trio of depressed Cryptomancers performed a rite intended to summon the furies of legend. They died hideously, but the Cruel Ones that Demons whisper about possess the Cryptomancers' charred corpses. They took over the Sleepers last year and this year they have their eye on something even bigger.

Dean Matterkros? Haven't heard a peep about him - whatever he's calling himself these days - since that stuff about phone hacking came out. That must have been how he planned to ascend - the final nail in the coffin of the Messenger as truth bringer.