Unknown Armies Update Wiki


The Ditz is defined by his stupidity compared to others. He fails to see the obvious, and is often too clumsy to pick up other skills to compensate. In almost all his incarnations, he is a figure of fun, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, misunderstanding everything, and being genuinely amusing for it. Archetypally, the Ditz nonetheless can get by on his charm or appearance, and is often portrayed as genuinely sweet and lovable; however, there is nothing requiring this of the Ditz' avatars, and few of them truly are after years in the occult underground walking the path.


Taboos: The Ditz is, frankly, stupid. Anyone with a Mind score above 50 risks thinking too much to make a good Ditz, and will not get as much power from the path besides. Anyone with a Mind-based skill above 30, or any other skill perceived as requiring intelligence, will slowly but inexorably lose their connection to the archetype unless they swiftly forget their undue competence.

Symbols: The dunce cap is probably the most well-known symbol, although cheerleader uniforms, blonde hair, and poor spelling are more common in normal society.

Masks: Phoebe Buffay, Homer Simpson, Cher Horowitz, and Joey Tribbiani are present-day examples.


1%-50%: You can't help but love a ditz. The avatar may use his Avatar: The Ditz skill in place of both Charm and Distracting Physique, provided he has these skills at at least 15%. However, he must still roll under his Body stat to pass a Distracting Physique roll regardless of his Avatar skill.

51%-70%: It's hard to convince someone if they can't understand what you're convincing them of. Any Lying roll, or any mind-controlling or mind-influencing spell - including but not limited to Plutomancy blasts - must roll under the avatar's Mind stat to successfully affect him; otherwise, he's incapable of processing the information and rejects it on principle.

71%-90%: Decades upon decades of slapstick comedy have lent the archetypal Ditz great protection against real harm... provided he isn't seeking it. Under normal circumstances, every time he takes damage, he may roll his Avatar: The Ditz skill; success reduces the damage to 5 points, if it wasn't that low already. Even a critical success on a pointblanking with a shotgun somehow becomes a clusterfuck of failures resulting in only minor damage - the executioner slips as he pulls the trigger and only one pellet ricochets into the guy's leg, or something.

This ability has some significant limitations and downsides, though. Firstly, every time this protection is invoked, it results in embarassment for the avatar, and prevents him acting in the same round due to his pratfall - though he can invoke it any number of times in a round. Secondly, being a comic foil is no help if you mean serious business; the avatar cannot use this channel in any combat where he has physically attacked another person.

91%+: At this level, the ditz's very stupidity protects him from understanding the horrors and nightmares of the world at large. Once per day, in a moment of rest, he may make an Avatar: The Ditz roll, with a minimum roll equal to his Mind stat. If he succeeds, he may remove a Failed or Hardened notch of his choice from any of his Madness meters, provided that meter doesn't already have more notches than the ones digit of his Avatar: The Ditz skill. While this can indeed remove the final failed notch of a completely blown meter, it cannot treat the insanity that the once-blown meter caused.